Isn’t parenting hard enough without throwing domestic abuse into the mix?! When we’re living in or healing from domestic abuse, the guilt we carry can be overwhelming. The moment children are involved, the stakes feel so much higher. Children add a whole new layer of guilt.
We might question ourselves:
Did I do enough to protect them?
Did I really try my best to make the relationship work?
Should I have left sooner?
How will this affect them long term?
These thoughts creep in at the most inopportune moments – when we’re having some quiet time or about to go to sleep at night. And they can spiral quickly out of control. We replay conversations, moments, decisions… searching for where it all went wrong.
You need to know that the truth is, you did what you had the strength and the knowledge to do at that time. Hindsight is a wonderful thing but when we look back on events in our lives, we are not the same person who was in that situation. We have grown, we have had new experiences that we hadn’t had back then. You did your best with what you had—and that is enough. Survival was your priority. Getting through each day took more strength and courage than many people will ever know.
Guilt is a natural emotion. But we mustn’t let it define us. What matters now is where we go from here. How we heal. How we parent. How we love. Healing doesn’t erase the past, but it does create a healthier future. One step, one choice, one moment at a time.
You’re not alone. Other parents feel it too. Share your feelings with a close friend. Talk it out, don’t keep it bottled up. There’s power in speaking the unspoken – there’s freedom in releasing the shame that was never yours to carry.
Journaling Prompt:
Take some time today to reflect:
In what ways have I shown love, protection, or resilience as a parent – even in the midst of chaos? What fears do I hold about how the abuse may have affected my children – and what can I do to begin releasing those fears?
You Are Not Alone
If you are experiencing or have experienced domestic abuse and would like someone to talk to or to signpost to available resources and services, we’re here to support you. Contact Sarah on 07853 216993 or email Restored@livingsprings.cc
