You’re out and about doing your weekly food shop. Everything is normal, you’re in a pretty good place, you’ve had a great day out with friends and now you just need to grab something to cook for tea later. But something, a smell or a phrase from someone nearby suddenly makes your heart race. You freeze. You feel small again. Unsure of yourself. Powerless. Afraid.
Moments like this are more common than we think after abuse. They’re called triggers, and they have a sneaky way of pulling our past into the now.
Why Does This Happen?
Abuse rewires our brain to stay alert – to survive. Even when the danger is gone, your body doesn’t always get the message. So a harmless tone of voice or a certain look might feel unsafe, even when it isn’t.
You’re not “crazy” or “too sensitive.” You’re traumatised, not broken.
What Can You Do?
- Name it.
Saying “I’m triggered” helps separate the past from the present. It reminds you this is a response, not a reality. - Ground yourself.
Look around. What do you see, smell, hear, feel? Try breathing slowly or pressing your feet into the floor. - Speak the truth.
Remind yourself: “I am safe now.” “That was then; this is now.” “I’m allowed to feel this.”
- Get support.
You don’t have to walk this road alone. Talking with someone who understands trauma can make a big difference.
One Step at a Time
Healing doesn’t mean forgetting. It means the past loses its grip. If your past still feels close, it doesn’t mean you’ve failed – it means you’re still healing, and that’s ok!
You’ve already survived the worst. Now it’s time to gently take your power back – one step, one breath, one moment at a time.
Journaling Prompt:
“What moments from my past feel like they still affect me today – and how do they show up in my thoughts, emotions, or behaviours?”
Take your time. Be gentle with yourself. You’re not writing to judge or fix – just to notice.
Follow-up reflection:
“What do I need to hear, feel, or believe in those moments to remind myself I am safe now?”
You Are Not Alone
If you are experiencing or have experienced domestic abuse and would like someone to talk to or to signpost to available resources and services, we’re here to support you. Contact Sarah on 07853 216993 or email Restored@livingsprings.cc
